OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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