how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize