Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
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Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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