he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
