Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
me + whiskey = a bad person
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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