we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize