I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
MIDGETS
????
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
