you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
why is half of my head shaved?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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