he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
