its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
