I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
