Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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