All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
