Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We are all done wearing pants today
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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