I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
