Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize