Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table