I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.