ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
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All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.