Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES