new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
3pm strippers are depressing
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.