Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.

  (310): View more from California

  ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.

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  (630): oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican. (310): ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated. http://tfl.nu/5wsv
  Replies (12) Good night (613) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?

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  (248): Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"? http://tfl.nu/h596
  Replies (38) Good night (4623) Bad night (2523)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(

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  (601): Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :( http://tfl.nu/zxos
  Replies (34) Good night (2252) Bad night (4881)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.

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  (920): Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep. http://tfl.nu/o54g
  Replies (36) Good night (12831) Bad night (1222)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you

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  (414): There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you http://tfl.nu/ku1m
  Replies (19) Good night (4682) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.

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  (712): We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this. http://tfl.nu/g847
  Replies (16) Good night (3675) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.

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  (617): these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean. http://tfl.nu/z2n6
  Replies (13) Good night (2274) Bad night (1406)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?

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  (310): I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow? http://tfl.nu/cjjr
  Replies (6) Good night (3387) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?

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  (217): who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo? http://tfl.nu/900o
  Replies (4) Good night (2246) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.

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  (406): He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die. http://tfl.nu/b33e
  Replies (3) Good night (834) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.

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  (516): She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location. http://tfl.nu/ak9e
  Replies (8) Good night (1271) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?

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  (812): Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout? http://tfl.nu/r4f3
  Replies (9) Good night (385) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it

  (408): View more from California

  its winning. its definitely happening

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  (408): this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it (408): its winning. its definitely happening http://tfl.nu/yixq
  Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.

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  (306): you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on. http://tfl.nu/ye8b
  Replies (2) Good night (315) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping

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  (518): I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping http://tfl.nu/cvko
  Replies (7) Good night (888) Bad night (255)

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