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• (313): View more from Michigan

  i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Do they take checks?

  (1-606): View more from Kentucky

  Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Naked. Naked is my favorite color.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"

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