I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.