I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
