I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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