You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
