she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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