Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
