i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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