I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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