I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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