I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
