Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We left an ass print on the piano.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
