I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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