he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
