remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you inspire me to be a worse person
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
