girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
