I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
