I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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