At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
