There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize