I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
