A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
