apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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