Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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