Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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