Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
