Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
But theres a keg here and me gusta
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Pants are for mortals
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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