I skipped work to stalk him.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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