Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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