wat bout pragnant strippers??
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
