I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize