I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
