I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
