Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
