I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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