and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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