4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
