Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
