so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
