i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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