Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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