started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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