I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize