I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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