I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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