Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
