Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
