Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I deserve this hangover.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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